That Looks Like It Hurt
by Pandaleski
Summary: Mello comes home with a stretched out a*****e. Written for the kink meme. Rated M for safety.


**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.**

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><p><em>Prompt: <em>_Mello with a stretched out asshole. Preferably Matt and Near discovering it._

**That Looks Like It Hurt!**

Matt just couldn't resist. Mello laid sprawled out so perfectly, and asleep too, it seemed. All he had to do was just to pull down those cotton pants and….

No. He couldn't slap Mello's ass. Not when he looked so angelic. And so tired.

Lately, he just seemed to be so exhausted and absolutely in no mood for anything, even chocolate seemed unappealing. He wondered what was going on with the blonde.

Probably just PMS-ing.

…Or something.

He sighed.

But this was just so perfect!

He slid down the pants all the way down to the thighs, exposing a silky smooth surface of raw flesh. Damn, it was just so slappable!

Slap!

Slap!

Slap!

He couldn't help it; it was just too damn irresistible. There was no way he could resist the urge. No way.

"Yooooow!" Mello yelped as he tried to squirm away, having not yet fully awakened and regained all his senses.

'What the hell?' thought Matt. 'Why is it…so…flabby…?'

As soon as Matt stopped his ministrations, Mello leaped from the bed and sprang to a corner.

"What the hell, Matt!" he accused, nurturing his sore bottom.

Matt knitted his eyebrows in confusion.

Mello huffed. Such a rude awakening and now the computer nerd wouldn't even say anything to his defense, let alone try to get away from the wrath of MELLO! How absurd.

"Matt!" he called.

"Yeah?" Matt looked up nonchalantly.

Mello was furious. Such impudence! No, really. He was mad. Mad cow disease mad. Fuming. He was so freaking angry that he launched himself at Matt and tackled him onto the floor.

Perfect. This was just what Matt had been waiting for. Now he could see what was wrong with Mello's ass.

He quickly turned the tables on Mello and flipped him over so that the blonde lay on his back, and Matt made fast to pin him there.

"Near! Get in here!" Matt called to the albino boy in the room next door.

Mello struggled as he finally realized the position he was in. He squirmed and kicked and threatened Matt to let him go…or else.

But Matt knew as well as Near that there was really no substance behind those threats so he just smiled sweetly down at his best friend and waited for the current number 1 to arrive.

"Yes, Matt?" came the bored reply.

Matt looked up at Near, who stood absently twirling a lock of hair at the threshold of the room.

"Near, come here." Matt smiled devilishly.

Near did just so. He approached in his usual calm stride, ignoring the stabbing glares he received from Mello and observing the thrashing behavior with nothing short of indifference.

"Help me." Matt said.

Then Matt proceeded to try and turn Mello, which proved to be quite difficult, but with Near's help it was no problem.

Near wasn't as weak as he looked, in fact, he could probably stand up in a fight against Mello if he so wished. That is, if Mello ever worked up the courage to fight him. Mello may be full of threats, but they were nothing more than idle, at least as far as Near and Matt were concerned.

"What is this about, Matt?" asked Near.

Matt was concerned, "There's something wrong with him; watch."

And then he proceeded to pull down Mello's pants yet again, and collide one, two, three slaps on his naked behind.

The flesh jiggled and Mello yelped loudly.

"What the HELL, Matt!" he yelled.

Matt ignored Mello and instead addressed Near.

"See?"

Near nodded gravely.

"Yes. He seems to be in great pain." He observed.

"Great fucking deduction, Near!" Mello barked.

Then Near proceeded to slap him.

"Ow!" Mello yelped yet again, "Would you quit it!"

And then, as if that wasn't bad enough, Near then decided to spread Mello's butt cheeks wide for the world to see, or rather, the two of them, seeing as they were alone.

Mello's face burned with embarrassment and rage.

"AAAAAARRRRRGH!" he grunted in a demonic tongue.

Matt gasped.

Near smiled.

"…M-Mello?" Matt questioned warily.

"WHAT?"

"Why…is your…ass…stretched…?"

Mello froze.

Fuck!

"That's none of your damn business." He tried calmly in an attempt to be freed from this humiliating hold.

There was silence.

Then more silence.

Until…

"I believe Mello has a 'butt buddy'." Near stated.

Matt cracked a smile.

"Whose the lucky guy?" Matt chuckled.

Mello shook with rage; this time for being laughed at, by his best friend no less.

"Let me…" Mello thrashed about, "Go!"

Matt chuckled.

"OK."

And then Mello was free and he was quick to pull up his pants before even more embarrassment could be pulled from this unfortunate 'situation'.

And that's when Mello noticed Near's creepy, pedophile smile.

"What. The. Fuck. Are you. SMILING. About?" he demanded with gritted teeth.

"Mello." Near paused for effect, "The diameter was enough to fit a fist."

"Gaaaaaaaaaaaah!" Mello uttered a war cry and this time attacked Near.

Punches flew and kicks collided, but to Mello's great disappointment none of them actually collided with NEAR.

"What the…" Mello said in confusion.

"It'd be best to save your energy, Mello." He calmly concluded.

Mello seethed, but backed off anyway.

"So…" Matt scratched his red hair sheepishly, "You do this often?"

It was a risky question, but one he couldn't contain. He just had to know; how often had Mello DONE this. And with WHOM?

Mello huffed and crossed his arms defensively.

"So what if I do?" he challenged.

Matt was surprised. Really. He let it show and Mello cast him a glare for it.

"Please don't tell me it's Roger." Matt pouted.

Mello looked disgraced, "OF COURSE NOT!"

Near chuckled a very creepy and eerie sound.

Matt nodded solemnly, thinking.

"Mello," Near commented, "likes it rough."

Mello's face burned in shame. Whether due to the statement or the victorious smile on Near's face was up for debate, but at the moment all he wanted was to punch him.

"I guess he does." Matt replied, not in jest.

Mello blinked in surprise, then pouted.

"So what if I like it rough?"

Matt chuckled. Mello was just too cute all flustered like this. He had to take a picture.

He jogged out of the room to retrieve his camera.

"Hey, Matt! Where the hell are you going?" Mello yelled in fear that the boy would just run off and tell someone, but he had no such luck.

Matt came back with the device and clicked it on with a beep.

"Say cheese!"

"OK, OK! I'll tell you who it was!"

Matt immediately let go of the camera, handing it to Near of all people.

"Really?" Matt was incredulous.

"Yeah, just no…pictures." He looked away, embarrassed.

Near stopped smiling and looked expectantly at Mello.

Was he really going to tell them who it was? The person who had, if Near was correct, which was likely, fisted him?

Mello sighed, "I don't know his name, but it's that guy who comes here each Wednesday."

Near gaped.

Matt looked perplexed.

"What guy?" Matt asked.

Near gulped.

"It's OK. Your secret's safe with us." Near said.

"Huh? What guy?" Matt asked.

"Thanks." Mello smiled.


End file.
